A Personal History

Originally published on Karma of Dove Dot Com - September 2010.

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Kneeling upon iced pavement, in suit and tie
Casting away his brief case and glasses
He looked up into the night sky
And wondered what had happened

To the life he so loved
Wondering the deeper meaning to it
Cursing the Gods who handed this torment
As he exhaled a deep breath at the mountains' base

          to go home
to get some rest

For when he wakes the next morning
He can do it all over again

                 up the mountain
        the same rock
January 1994 - New York City

Written while listening to No Deeper Love (Excursion to the Darkside Remix by Rising High Collective:

I took this photo late last night, out by a beach near where I live. I did so while the wind chill brought the real feel temperature close to single digits.

The last time the New York City area had a sustained cold period like the one we are in was back in the winter for 1993-1994. As I took this photo, I remembered the poem shared in this post. I remembered during that cold period, feeling like a modern day Sisyphus, where instead of pushing a rock up a hill, only to see it roll back down at the end of the day, I was caught up in the monotony of commuting, stuck in a cubicle job, fretting about the most inane things, day in and day out, and it feeling like hell.

On those cold nights 20 years ago, after commuting from a long day at work, I would listen to music on my walkman, try as best as possible to deal with the cold on my walk home, and take comfort in the beautiful sight of Orion hanging over the winter night sky.

SONY NEX-7 • 18mm (in 35mm: 27.0 mm) • ISO 1600 • 8.0 sec at f/14

SONY NEX-7 • 18mm (in 35mm: 27.0 mm) • ISO 1600 • 8.0 sec at f/14

Now, that I'm older and I'm no longer in that kind of hell, with it all feeling like another lifetime, the stars continue to comfort me as I face new challenges. So, yeah, it was worth being out in the cold last night. To look up at the night sky, it being so immense, I felt small. In feeling small, my problems, my challenges, felt small as well.

Everyone, enjoy your Sunday night. Have a great week ahead!